Lord, Be My Vision

January 18, 2006

I’m having trouble with my eyesight again. I pulled out my pocket eye card and could only see 20/200 with my left eye and my glasses on. This means I have to be at 20 feet to see what most people can see at 200 feet. My right eye is better at 20/25. Through all of this, I want to rest in the Lord. He knows all about my eyes and is in control. If I go blind like my uncle, God will continue to provide for me like He always has through the years. I am so glad that He goes before me.

January 27, 2006

The retinal specialist said my eye looked healthy on the inside, so he is not sure why my vision has decreased so much. He decided to review my head scan from a year ago when I fell and was unconscious for awhile. He also is sending me for a second opinion to another retinal specialist.

February 11, 2006

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Psalm 32:8

I saw Dr. N. yesterday for the second opinion and he said I have a cataract. He did a test on me where I looked through a pinhole and could see 20/20 which confirms it! This means the lens in my eye has become cloudy over the years. It’s a relatively easy outpatient surgery to remove my lens and place a new one in my eye which should give me 20/20 vision so I no longer need to wear glasses! I can hardly believe this news. I have worn thick glasses since I was 6 years old and have uncorrected vision of 20/1000.

April 8, 2006

Beloved, now are we the children of God, and it does not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that when He shall appear, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. I John 3:2

I had my left cataract removed two days ago. I returned to the eye doctor’s office yesterday to have my patch removed. It was an amazing experience as the whole world appears so bright with beautiful colors, and I can see 20/20! Dr. E. said my vision might not stay quite 20/20 after the lens settles in. I can hardly believe the difference in all the colors. It’s like the yellow haze was removed. I think it’s a little taste of how beautiful everything will appear in heaven when I see the Lord and have my new body. Even so, COME, Lord Jesus!”  Revelation 22:20

April 20, 2006

So much has changed since I last wrote. I’m having a terrible time with nausea and headaches because I see two different sizes with each eye. I wear a contact lens in my right eye that still has the cataract. My brain is having a hard time adjusting to 20/20 vision in my newly implanted lens. Then I got a head cold and was so sick that I missed all the Easter services which was sad. This is my third week off of work, so my Dad flew up from Florida to help me out. Dr. E. is on vacation so I saw his partner who told me to patch my right eye and learn to drive and work with one eye. He also said to call Dr. E. to do the other eye as soon as possible.

I drove down the highway with one eye patched which was really scary since I have no depth perception. I asked my Dad to drive home which was just as scary. He has a shuffling gait and can’t remember directions at all. His hearing has also decreased. I think he has early dementia or Parkinson’s disease which is so sad. (See previous post.) He went with me to prayer meeting last night for which I was thankful. On the way home, the stars and glare around all the oncoming headlights was awful. I wonder if I will be able to drive at night anymore? Maybe that will go away once I’m off all the eye drops. I called Human Resources at work to check on short term disability, but they said I don’t have it since I haven’t worked there a year yet. God always provides and won’t test me above what I can bear.

It was difficult to drive with only one eye because I had no depth perception.

I’m thankful for this extra time with my Dad as we look at the beautiful spring flowers in bloom, walk through the woods together, and see historic sites nearby.

My Dad came to help me for 3 weeks. We enjoyed seeing all the spring flowers in bloom.

May 9, 2006

The Lord upholds all who fall, and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

How I praise God for the work He has done in my life the past few weeks. Dr. E. removed my right cataract on May 4, four weeks after my left cataract was removed. The next day after the patch was removed, my eyes began working together. We also stopped the Nevanac (NSAID) eye drop which was causing the nausea. What a relief to be rid of the nausea! It was such a joy to rejoin the choir yesterday at church and sing The Solid Rock.

When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil.

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand – all other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.    –by Edward Mote

Christ is my solid Rock!

Reflection

How I thank God every day for giving me corrected unclouded vision. I later was told I developed cataracts at the age of 51 because I have a disorder which caused calcium deposits to cloud my lenses.  I still need to wear thin glasses to read to correct my astigmatism. One of the unexpected treats is to be able to see clearly when I go swimming. I can still drive at night as the glare and stars around all the headlights went away once I finished the eye drops. But most of all, I look forward to that day when I will see my dear Savior face to face in heaven above with perfect vision in my new body.

 

 

 

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What Next, Lord?

January 1, 2003

My Pastor had a wonderful message last night at the New Year’s Eve service at church on Philippians 3:13-14, “This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.” I must forget the trials of the past year and press on, looking unto Jesus. He is the Captain of the ship and is smiling in the storm. He is in control and working out His sovereign will.

Dear Father, Thank You for saving my soul. Thank You that today is the first day of the rest of my life. Thank You that You are my joy, strength, and that You will supply my every need as You did last year. Thank You for a warm, safe place to live and a measure of health. Help me to grow to know You better and to study your Word more. Help me to eat right, exercise, and finish organizing my new home. Guide me to the right job and help me serve You in new ways. I look forward to seeing what You will do this New Year! In Christ’s Name, Amen

January 17

I had an interview last week for a substitute school nurse, but they only pay $12 per hour which is really low. I think that over time, I would become quite bored with school nursing. I sent out three resumes for a hospital research position, for a teaching position at an Associate Degree nursing program, and for a teaching position at a Technical School for Licensed Practical Nurses (LPN).

Mrs. D, the Director of the LPN program, called me today to discuss the teaching position. The school is located 15 minutes from my home. I would teach two to three days each week and supervise eight students for six hours the other two days per week at a local nursing home. The staff receives two weeks of vacation, eight floating days off, and every Monday off the last nine weeks of a thirteen week module. The students complete four modules in order to graduate and become a LPN. Most LPNs work as staff nurses in long term care facilities giving medications and treatments to the patients. It will be quite a change for me to teach students right out of high school compared to Registered Nurses or master’s degree students. Mrs. D. asked if I would rather teach Anatomy and Physiology, or Fundamentals of Nursing? I replied that I prefer to teach Fundamentals. We scheduled an interview for next week.

The hospital called me and said they are not interested in me for the research position, but would notify me of any Nurse Practitioner positions. I did not receive a reply from the AD program.

February 3

“Be strong (take courage)… and work; for I am with you, says the Lord of hosts.” Haggai 2:4

I had my interview at the LPN school. Mrs. D. asked me to teach the students for ten minutes on something in nursing, so I taught them how to do a computer ergonomic evaluation of a person’s desk to prevent repetitive use injuries. I learned how to do this when I worked in employee health at the insurance company. Apparently the students liked my presentation, because they all voted to hire me! I start work in one week on February 10.

February 20

I have now completed working two weeks of orientation at the LPN school and it has been rather rough between standing for five to six hours daily at the nursing home and dealing with bed bound comatose patients. My back pain is intense at the end of the day. I have been visiting the ten different nursing homes the school uses for sites for the students and shadowing the different instructors. One instructor, Donna, was particularly helpful. She is in her sixties and has terrible back pain, so she is not sure how much longer she can work for the school. She has been at the school for one year and works 40-50 hours weekly. They keep switching her to different modules, so she has to continually make new lesson plans.

“I will instruct thee and teach you in the way which you should go; I will guide thee with My eye upon you.” Psalm 32:8  

Dear Lord, Make your will clear to me and give me the strength to teach another day.

psalm 32 8

God encouraged me with Psalm 32:8

 March 7

I have been home sick for three days because I have a bad head cold, have lost my voice, and can’t enter the nursing home with my cold. So I am preparing lectures. I thank the Lord for this break to rest my back also. I’m still not sure this is the right job for me, but I am going to try and teach for six months or until I collapse.

March 22

I completed my orientation my first week of teaching the 31 new students. Some have had a previous career as a nursing assistant, beautician, engineer, accountant, or carpenter. Some were born in Ghana, Jamaica, and Poland, so it is a real mix of students. The school’s only requirement is that they have a high school diploma and pay the tuition of $17,000.

My first class was to teach the nursing process which took four hours. I thought I made it clear to the students, but the director said three students came to her and complained that they didn’t understand the class. She ordered me to review it all again with the students in the next two hours, so I did this in addition to reviewing their homework. Then I taught Environment and Safety in one hour which was supposed to take two hours. I am definitely having trouble gaging how long it takes to teach each topic. I was totally exhausted last night after teaching for three hours with my raw throat.

Reflection

And so began my rocky chapter of learning to teach LPN students. It was a continual exercise of leaning totally on God to give me the wisdom and strength to teach them while learning the expectations of the school. After being a competent Nurse Practitioner, it was a humbling experience to start over again in a new area of nursing. But on the other hand, the variety of positions one can have is one of the unique things about being a nurse.