Lord, Be My Vision

From my journal…

January 18, 2006

I’m having trouble with my eyesight again. I pulled out my pocket eye card and could only see 20/200 with my left eye and my glasses on. This means I need to be at 20 feet to see what most people can see at 200 feet. My right eye is better at 20/25. Through all of this, I want to rest in the Lord. He knows all about my eyes and is in control. If I go blind like my uncle, God will continue to provide for me as He always has through the years. I am so glad that He goes before me.

January 27, 2006

The retinal specialist said my eye looked healthy on the inside, so he is not sure why my vision has decreased so much. He decided to review my head scan from a year ago when I fell and was unconscious for a while. He also is sending me for a second opinion to another retinal specialist.

February 11, 2006

I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will guide you with My eye. Psalm 32:8

I saw Dr. N. yesterday for the second opinion and he said I have a cataract. He did a test on me where I looked through a pinhole and could see 20/20 which confirms it! This means the lens in my eye has become cloudy over the years. It’s a relatively easy outpatient surgery to remove my lens and place a new one in my eye which should give me 20/20 vision so I no longer need to wear glasses. I can hardly believe this news. I have worn thick glasses since I was 6 years old and my uncorrected vision is 20/1000.

April 8, 2006

Beloved, now are we the children of God, and it does not yet appear what we shall be, but we know that when He shall appear, we shall be like Him, for we shall SEE Him as He is. I John 3:2

I had my left cataract removed two days ago. I returned to the eye doctor’s office yesterday to have my patch removed. It was an amazing experience as the whole world appears so bright with beautiful colors, and I can see 20/20. Dr. E. said my vision might not stay quite 20/20 after the lens settles. I can hardly believe the difference in all the colors without the yellow haze. God gave me a little taste of how beautiful everything will appear in heaven when I see Him and have my new body.

April 20, 2006

So much has changed since I last wrote. I’m having a terrible time with nausea and headaches because I see two different sizes with each eye. I wear a contact lens in my right eye that still has the cataract. My brain is having a hard time adjusting to 20/20 vision in my newly implanted lens. My miserable head cold caused me to miss all the Easter services. This is my third week out of work, so my Dad flew up from Florida to help me out. Dr. E. is on vacation so I saw his partner who told me to patch my right eye and learn to drive and work with one eye. He also said to call Dr. E. to do the other eye as soon as possible.

I drove down the highway with one eye patched and discovered I have no depth perception. I asked my Dad to drive home which was just as scary. He has a shuffling gait, can’t remember directions, and has decreased hearing. Sadly, he probably has early dementia or Parkinson’s. I thanked God that he went with me to prayer meeting last night. On the way home, the stars and glare around all the oncoming headlights were awful. I wonder if I will be able to drive at night anymore? Maybe that will go away once I’m off all the eye drops. I called Human Resources at work to check on short-term disability, but they said I don’t have it since I haven’t worked there a year yet. God always provides and won’t test me above what I can bear.

I’m thankful for this extra time with my Dad as we looked at the beautiful spring flowers in bloom, walked through the woods together, and saw historic sites nearby.

May 9, 2006

The Lord upholds all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145:14

How I praise God for the work He has done in my life in the past few weeks. Dr. E. removed my right cataract on May 4, four weeks after my left cataract was removed. The next day after the patch was removed, my eyes began working together. We also stopped the Nevanac (NSAID) eye drop and the nausea finally went away. What a relief. I enjoyed rejoining the choir yesterday at church and singing The Solid Rock.

When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace;

In every high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil.

On Christ, the solid Rock I stand – all other ground is sinking sand,

All other ground is sinking sand.    –by Edward Mote

I still need to wear thin glasses to correct my astigmatism. An unexpected treat is clear vision when I swim. I still have poor depth perception at night so I only drive short distances in familiar territory after dark.